So tomorrow is prom! The big day! Calvenn is my date. I'm pretty excited, and hope it isn't like last year. Last year, I could feel like everyone was talking about me. I actually went into the bathroom and cried. This year I just really want things to be different. And then prom party afterwards, wwaahhooo! So this Cameron - hot black guy from the bar - totally called me the other day. After all chivalry isn't dead! And we're gonna meet up at prom party. I hope that goes well.

Yesterday was track and I was so bad at it. It really hurts that I'm not as good as I used to be. I wish I wouldn't of even tried. Today I went to school all day, and then finished setting up for prom. And then came home and cleaned my ass off. Mom of course didn't take much notice. I just once would like a good job. Or for them to take any notice of how hard I try at anything. All they do is put me down and honestly it just sucks. I volunteer my time for so much stuff that I miss out on so much other stuff, and for what? Not even a good job, or simple thank you. I think thats why I do drugs and party so hard. Because I just build up so much hurt knowing I'm wasting my life oon nothing. Like today after me complaining of how messy my house is for the past six years to my mom, she instead of acting like she'd make any effort, just tells me she wishes I would have moved away for the summer. And then I'm downstairs cleaning my room, and she takes me i-pod out of the stereo and throws it on the floor. So I complain about that and then get yelled at Dad for disrespecting her. Like hello? She disrespected me first. And she knows what she did was wrong and knows how much I hate being yelled at, but just sits there. Like how does she feel okay doing that. I just want to get out of here, I just want an escape.

And really for once I just want someone to appreciate the things I do. I feel so empty inside all of the time...